There is a definite line between people who see the new year as a chance to wash all their curtains, hoover under the sofa and re-organise the sock drawer and also those who see it as any other Wednesday.
And I can see both sides.
Towards the end of 2018, I put off doing so many things as I kept saying to myself “I’ll do it in the new year” and now I can’t get away with that anymore.
I’ve seen people making lists of 20 things they want to change this year: lose a stone, stop smoking, become a millionaire and that’s fabulous. But I need to aim a bit smaller.
And I actually did write out a list. I didn’t really mean it when I wrote it, “lose weight, save money, exercise more…” All stuff I knew, come December, I’d be putting off until the new year again. I realised that I’d need to see things differently to actually get shit done.
This morning I was listening to Fearne Cotton’s podcast with Zoe Sugg and that definitely gave me a kick up the bum with regards to realising what I want to achieve from 2019.
I realised that this year I would like to be braver.
No, I don’t mean I’m going to book tickets to Thorpe Park and start watching Luther without the cushion in front of my face. I’m still going to have that strange, irrational fear of demons.
I mean I’m going to feel the fear and then do stuff anyway.
And I feel the fear on the regular. Anxiety is a big part of me, and always will be. I can’t make it go away, but I can stop abiding by it’s ridiculous rules.
Fear normally stops me from going for a run every other morning. (No, shut up, it’s not the fact I’ve done no exercise since I was forced to play bench ball in Year 10) and it’s fear that stops me from sharing the shit out of my blog posts and achieving the goals I set myself every month.
I deserve to reach my full potential, and I’m not going to let my own fear take over this year.
Like I said, I’m not turning into Yes Man and you definitely won’t see me jumping out of a plane wearing a parachute and a Go Pro on my head. But you might see me actually running around my local park, actually booking a dentist appointment and creating regular content on here.
I’ll let you know how it goes.